Gone

"Dedicated to my granny, who died at the age of 87,  I still miss her every single day of my life."

You're gone, like vapour before the sun, like a bullet fired from a gun
There's still so much I wanted to tell you
I never had the courage to tell you how much I love and appreciate you
I never imagined life without you granny
You were always there, my mentor and nanny
Your death left a void in my heart, without you I never would've survived
You were strict yet so loving at the same time, I'm so glad you were mine
You were always there when I needed you most, like the sea need the coast
I am so lucky to have had you as my grandmother, I love you like my own mother
You've set such a great example for me
Just like you, I've always wanted to be
When you got sick, I never thought you would die
When I did think about it, I would break down and cry
I'll never forget the day of your depart
It was like someone put a sword through my heart
I wanted you to stay with me but I knew it wasn't the best place for you to be
You're gone for 10 years yet your voice still lingers in my ears
I love you and always will, in my heart you're voice and laughter will never be still
I know you're happy where you are and you shine like the brightest morning star...

Thursday 08 April 2004

"This piece is dedicated to the most important person in my life, my granny. I definitely got my independant, stubborn streak from her. At the age of 87 she still insisted on doing everything herself, I loved her to bits. She suffered a stroke and was unable to do anything for herself, she needed help with feeding and couldn't even talk, it broke my heart seeing her like that. It was even more difficult for her, I could see it in her eyes. A week later she passed away, I've lost an important part of me with her but I was comforted in knowing that where she is, there's no more pain. I miss her every single day of my life and wish she was still around. Guess we can't always get what we want..."

It started off as a calm sunny day, too calm I have to say
Granny you so very very sick,it's weighing heavy on my heart just like a gaint brick
I always knew that someday I have to say goodbye
I'd hope it would be in the future, still far away
I have this strange feeling all day long, like a sad and depressing song
I don't how to put it into words, it's very hard
It's like waiting for news from a hospital ward
My mommy called me, I'm so afraid of what I'm going to see
I enter the room and saw you lying there
Helpless and fragile, it's so unfair
You try to talk but your voice is merely a whisper
It's so confusing, like a ferocious twister
I know it's time for me to say goodbye, I've tried to be strong for you, really I've tried
I just broke down and cry why?why?why?
There's a deadly silence with only your ruckled breathing to be heard
We all cry but with a smile on our face, we know you're in a far better place
We love you granny and grant you your rest, I'll always remember you, you're the best
Your love for us was so true, that's why we'll never forget you

Acceptance

"This specific piece was written in 2008/09, had to get some things out of my system and writing was the only way as I'm not the type to sit down and discuss my feelings with others, hope you enjoy it."

All my life I've been trying to be somebody else, someone my family and friends would accept
Someone they would love and care for but that someone wasn't me 
I would hide my true thoughts and feelings and tell then what they wanted to hear
Be who they wanted me to be, I never really knew who I was until I've realized something
I'm the only one that truly know and understand me
I've realized that I need to accept myself for who and what I am
All my shortcomings and mistakes
Only then I'd be able to reveal the true me to others and I wouldn't care whether they accept me or not
The only thing that matters is that I love myself
I'm gonna stop pretending to be someone I'm not and search for the real me
I know she's hidden deep down inside and I will find her
When I do, I'll be free to introduce her to the world and finally be happy...