9 Things to do in your 20's

We always see articles telling you “what to do in your 20’s” or “what you should achieve in your 20’s” and quite frankly it always make me feel inadequate. I’m in my 20’s, for now and most of those things I haven’t even achieved and most probably won’t because that’s not my mission in life. On the other hand you can’t compare us “normal” 20-something year olds to the likes of Rihanna, Taylor or Adele as we’ll always come up short. I’ve decided to do my own list, based on what I’ve achieved or set out to still achieve.

1. Have fun

I know that sounds like something to do in your toddler and preteen phase but we often forget to let loose and just have fun. I did that in my early 20’s and to a certain extent it’s out of my system now. If I go out out twice a month that’s sufficient which means that it won’t interfere with my job etc. If you don’t get it out of your system, you’ll end up being the only 40 year old in the club, hitting on people in their 20’s, I’ve seen it and it’s sad so don’t be that guy/gal.

2. Travel 

Early 20’s are perfect for exploring the world, broadening your horizons.If you don’t have money, work while you travel. Au pair, if you love kids, work on a farm in Texas, etc. Also it’s imperative to find the right people to make new discoveries with. I haven’t travelled that much, sadly but that’s my own fault as I was too afraid. You know how you make excuses all the time? I can’t work in Brazil because I don’t speak nor understand Portuguese, I can’t be a waiter in Paris because I don’t speak French etc. but you know what? There’s always someone that speaks/understand English almost everywhere so you don’t have an excuse. Do start off in your own country with roadtrips, “shot left” etc. to get familiar with the concept.

3. Empower yourself

Make provision for your future i.e do courses that will help you at a later stage in life. I’ve done everything from debt consolidation, law, psychology to computer classes, one of those things will help you in your future career. If you don’t know where to go, have a look at Shaw Academy, they offer amazing online courses that are free of charge. Get that diploma or degree or even that experience in a field that you know you love and would love to work in.

4. Make lasting friendships

You won’t always have the same friends throughout life, if you do, consider yourself lucky. Find people that will grow with you and support you on your journey. For some people that constitute of 4-5 people, for others it’s more, others less. There’s no set number of bffs you can have but make sure it’s people you trust, that’s reliable and will be honest with you.

5.Take a leap of faith

Whether it’s working in a new field without experience, moving across the country/globe to do what you love or falling in love with someone that’s not your type…do it! Life’s too short to always be cautious, weigh the pros and cons or be afraid to take risks. You only have one life, make the best of it.

6.Save and Invest 

It’s important to save money and invest wisely. I know that a lot of the youngsters (I sound like an old hag) believe in this “YOLO” philosophy but what if you live until you’re 80 and you haven’t saved a dime? What will happen to you? Who will look after you? We hear too many horror stories of the elderly being abused at homes when their children are unable to look after them. Speak to a financial advisor or a broker to find out what’s affordable for your lifestyle. If you are interested in figuring out what your net worth is, check out Personal Capital’s net worth calculator.

7.Love unconditionally

Whether it’s a human being or a pet, love someone unconditionally that is NOT related. Lasting relationships are forged in your mid to late 20’s as at this age you ought to be emotionally matured enough for it. If you’re not, nothing wrong with it. If you prefer to be single and focus on your career, that’s okay but do go out on dates and meet new people. Kiss all the frogs you have to to get to your Prince Charming.

8. Make memories

This ties in with lasting friendships and travelling. Make memories that will make you smile even when you’re 80, sitting on the stoep in your rocking chair. Life is not lived if you don’t make memories.

9.Leave a legacy 

Or rather start working on the legacy you’d like to leave behind. We’re not guaranteed a full life and we don’t know how much time we’ll have to work on our legacy so you use every waking moment to ensure you leave behind a legacy that will be worthy of the amazing human being you are.

My unofficial number 10 would be to achieve everything people said you never would. If you want to do modelling but were always considered to short or too skinny, do it. Show them that once you put your mind to it, you can achieve it. Mingle with celebs, buy that house and car you promised your mom, do whatever makes your little heart happy but never forget where you came from, ever because if you, you won’t know where you’re heading.

Tribute to friendship.

I’ve never had a lot of friends, quite frankly I don’t see the use of having hundreds of friends when only a handful might turn out to be the real Mccoy. I know I’m not the easiest person to be friends with as I’m quite selfish, self-centred if you may, annoyingly stubborn and spoiled. I’ve build a wall so high that you’d have to attack it with a sledgehammer to get in and I’ve never made it easy for anyone to get close to me. I have my reasons of course, the usual I-thought-they-were-my-friends-but-they-stabbed-me-in-the-back syndrome featured for as long as I can remember, I would bend over backwards for someone and what do I get in return? A shrug of the shoulder accompanied by “I’m sorry for letting you down”, sometimes there’s not even an apology involved, a clear indication that I should just “get over it” or “deal with it”. I’ve tried the whole “be the friend you’d like to have” philosophy but were yet to reap the rewards.

I’ve given up on friendship and that’s the best thing I ever did, in my opinion. After making peace with the fact that I’ll only ever have acquaintances,being an only child doesn’t really help, I’ve made the best, most loyal friends ever!Without going out there, looking for them, they found me and I’ve never been happier. It’s a huge load of my shoulders to be able to trade secrets, reveal my most outrageous fantasies and scandals and still have someone accept me for who I am and not what I did when I was young (I’ve never been stupid just naive). Having someone around to discuss nothing and everything, being able to read their mind and laugh uncontrollably about stupid things. They’re not my friends, they’re my long-lost siblings, my family; a bond formed by mutual understanding, trust and love. I’ll take drastic measures to protect them, I’d sacrifice everything to help them, bring a smile upon their faces, offer them support and just be there for them.

In my darkest hour they were my ray of sunshine, my pillar of strength and my much-needed support system. I didn’t realize how much they meant to me until I needed someone there…and they were.I can’t possibly repay them as I don’t even think they realize how much their love and support meant to me but I’ll try, even if it takes a lifetime to do just that. Friends truly are angels without wings, sent down from heaven to help us heal and to prove that we’re all capable of unselfish love and care. This piece is dedicated to all the “wingless” angels in my life, I love and appreciate you. 

Love Yourself...

Christina Aguilera once sang,”You are beautiful no matter what they say,words can’t bring you down.” The latter is, no matter how badly we want it to be, not true. Words can and has always been able to bring you down, regardless of the level of confidence you possess. I always thought that if you know your weaknesses or shortcomings and make peace with it, no one can use it against you but I was sadly mistaken, it still hurts. Many have been talking body confidence so allow me to add my 2 cents.

Idealistic standards have always been set by the media and fashion industry specifically. The whole size 0 concept has always been the metaphorical thorn in my side and I’ll tell you why: I’m naturally skinny, petite or whatever you may call it and most people assume that I starve myself or have this crazy fitness regime when in actuality neither are the case. I eat more than a lot of people I’ve met and I’ve only been in the gym 3 months of my life. I walk my dog whenever I have the energy to, which ranges from everyday to once every 2nd week. The scale is not my friend, never has been and probably never will be. My reason for that might be completely different to most people as you usually hate the scale when you want to shed the pounds and don’t see the difference in numbers. Mine is simply that I want to gain weight and it’s disheartening when you’ve scoffed down tons of food for months and there’s no increase in that number.

I find it highly irritating when people scold me for trying to gain by reminding me how many people would “kill” to look like me. I honestly don’t care, you do you and I’ll do me. All I want to do it gain weight and actually look like someone in her late 20’s and not some 15 year old boy. I don’t get excited about the concept of shopping anymore, even though it’s one of my indulgences because everything I like is usually too big for me and I don’t have the energy or sewing skills to alter it.

People seem to preach a lot about overweight/thick people accepting themselves and loving their bodies. I agree wholeheartedly with that but I don’t agree with statements such as “real men love curves, only dogs like bones.” Seriously? You can’t empower one without putting the other down? You think I like being able to literally count my ribs? Or that it’s fun walking into a table and experiencing paralysing pain because you hit your protruding hipbone? Or walking into a shop and the only things that actually fit you have flowers and butterflies on it? Yes I’m skinny and I’ve been that way my entire life. I’ve had people asking me if “Are you sick?” or my absolute favourite, “Do you tik?” at a time when I didn’t even know what the hell tik was nor have I ever actually seen it.

As a skinny person it’s assumed that you don’t have the usual problems of stretch marks, cellulite, body insecurities etc. but trust me we do, well I do. I’ve never worn skirts or short dresses because I hated my skinny legs, I don’t wear watches because they slip right off and chokers, don’t even get me started on those.It might seem like I’m complaining, which I am to a certain extent but I just wanted to put it out there. We all suffer from insecurities, whether you’re skinny or fat, beautiful or less beautiful than prescribed by social standards. It took me a really long time to accept what I look like and the struggles that comes along with it but all of that work comes undone when someone makes an insensitive remark.

My conclusion is that no one is ever 100% happy with the way they look, if they were makeup brands, medical clinics etc. wouldn’t be booming businesses. The point is it’s OK to want to change a few things about yourself as long as you’re still YOU. My motto has always been, “I may not be perfect to you but I’m perfectly me” and I try to bear that in mind whenever I’m faced with negativity. I hope you find yours if you haven’t already.