If you've found it odd that I wrote my heading the way I did, you're one of the lucky ones that experienced hurt and betrayal from loved ones on a smaller scale or not at all. Your love and respect for them are still intact and that's admirable.Then there are those who feel the way I do, so let's drink to that.
I've reach a point where I feel I'm better off alone and I do admit that's sad. I'm tired of being hurt by those I love the most and I'm literally on the verge of hating them,I realize that's a really strong word but hey I've said it.People can only hurt you so many times before you start resenting them.I mean for 8 years of my life I've been subjected to it,my mom thought I was paranoid,my family took advantage of that.
Now I'm stuck with trust issues,low self-esteem and a dark pit where my soul used to be. I knew I had to get away before I'd hurt myself or them, so that's what I did...I'm happier than ever!!! No family=no stress,no hatred,no self-doubt...and it feels amazing!a load has been lifted off my shoulders. I have to adapt to living on my own but I'm getting used to it,one day at a time-on my own terms...
I'm getting my confidence back and I feel like a new person....back then I used to ask "Why Lord?"Now I know,I'm stronger and I can appreciate the little things in life.If there's one thing that I'm absolutely certain off right now,is that I'm not going back there again...I won't be robbed of my spirit again nor will I give them the satisfaction to kick me when I'm down...Forgiving is easy,I've never stopped loving them but I'm done,it sound so wrong saying that but it feels right...this is the way forward.
