Earth, please swallow me!

I’m one of those people that absolutely dread embarrassment. I’d forward a part in a movie/TV programme where I know someone will be embarrassed as it makes me cringe,literally. I’ve lived through some minor incidents in my life that left me red in the face, like someone serenading you in the street and everyone stopped to watch or that time when you got so passionate about a topic, only to realize that the discussion is on something totally different, yes I’ve lived through all that. We’ve all had that dream, not the bathroom one in this case (don’t ever trust the bathroom in your dreams,ever) but the one where you showed up naked at school/work and everyone stared at you. I’ve had a similar experience but for someone like me, its an absolute nightmare. Allow me to take you through my morning:

I overslept, as usual but only because I always struggle to fall asleep and that makes it a daily mission to wake up. I’m on of those people who set their alarm for 08h00 but will press snooze until 08h15 and still drag myself out of bed. As you’ve gathered, I’m not a morning person at all but unfortunately I have to work for a living so I have to fake my way through. A refreshing shower usually does wonders to wake me up as does a splash of cold water to the face. I always plan my outfits in my head or the previous evening in an attempt to make mornings more bearable. This morning I decided on a cream lace skirt from David Tlale and a breezy black blouse as Johannesburg is scorching nowadays.

As pictured above, you may noticed that its a lace overlay with a petticoat thingy underneath. As I’m walking to the office (I live about 8 minutes away on foot) the skirt kept moving up and I pulled it down every time. What I didn’t realize was that I only managed to pull down the lace overlay and NOT the petticoat thingy underneath. I usually walk with earphones, listening to music as I’m able to avoid making small talk so I didn’t think it was weird when people attempted to start a conversation as it happens every day. I did however thought it was weird when someone almost caused an accident, slamming on his brakes and literally hanged halfway out of his car.

I arrived at the office, greeted everyone and went to the kitchen to make rooibos tea, my morning ritual. I went to the office of my CEO to discuss some things and walk out, not a word from anyone. As I walked to my office, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realized, to my horror, that I’m only wearing the lace, nothing else. As I turned around I prayed that my worst nightmare did not come to life but there it was…my entire buttocks, however petite it may be, on display for everyone to see! There’s not enough words to describe how I feel right now…I want to curl up in a bundle and just wait for my life to be over I don’t want to leave the comfort of my home or this office ever again! You have any idea how many people I passed this morning? Over 20 and that’s excluding the ones in their vehicles, this is utterly humiliating! I sincerely hope that I’d be able to laugh about this, someday but for now I’ll curl up in a fetal position and wait for this year or my life to be over, whichever one is first. (I know this post and the response to the incident is overly dramatic but that’s how I feel right now, I’ll be OK though…in time.)